paternity leave - round two

It worried me at the time. We were wasting hubby's paternity leave. We weren't meaning too. We'd had plans, ideas, dreams of what it would be like, what we'd do when it was the 3 of us at home. But when it came to it we were stressed out, dazed and in shock. We watched tv, argued, struggled, questioned and glazed over. There were a few moments where we put lots of effort in, mustered up the courage to try something nice and tend to one another but it was all a bit beyond us if I'm honest. We managed a couple of nice picnics on the lawn and we took the time to capture Skittle on camera with various props, we had a few family members to visit and at times we tried to talk. But it was too hard.

And before we knew it, it was over. I felt like I'd ruined paternity leave for hubby and we'd never get that sweet time back.

Hubby went back to work and that was it. The lovely thing about 12 hour shifts is that he's not around much for 3 or 4 days but then has 3 or 4 days off. Sadly in the last 4 weeks of working he's done a selection of the worst, most harrowing and disturbing jobs of his career. Including 2 seriously ill children, one of which he had to take to our hospital and hand over to one of Skittle's Drs, a man dying from the same condition his precious granddad died from 6 months ago and a one month old that had devastatingly passed away. Cue trauma. My poor hubby had had more than he could take. The straw had well and truly broken the camels back. Paper work done, 2 weeks of short notice annual leave approved due to special circumstances and one final night shift to drag himself through and we entered paternity leave - take 2.

instagram moments

This time we're trying harder. Not exhausting ourselves, no pressure to get things done or being unrealistic, just enjoying time together rather than staring blankly and surviving.

my parents have an attractive garage door!

We're making the time to talk, communicating about what we're going  through, saying sorry and being understanding. Discussing and dreaming and making allowance for one another's faults and binding ourselves together with love. We've snuggled under the duvet on the sofa and watched DVDs and eaten chocolate and whole bags of sweets. We've gotten some fresh air and eaten nice food. We've set little goals for each day and are enjoying each others company. Just the 3 of us. I feel blessed. Blessed to have an amazing hubby and an amazing boy.

I'm stressed out and scared but in taking time out and going slower and being more purposeful things are going better. I like paternity leave take 2.

And the best thing? Yesterday my awesome Mum and Dad booked a lastminute holiday for next week. 5 days in a villa, in the forest, just 2 and a half hours drive away. Lush.