inferior

My friend gave birth to her 4th baby today. Four. Four babies. Four births. Four successful, proper births.

I didn't give birth. My baby was just rescued from my failing body.

I think she's superwoman and I'm a fraud.

I know, I know, I'm not really a fraud. I'd never tell someone in the same situation that. But I feel so inferior today.

It's just been hard remembering that things didn't turn out as I'd expected. Thoughts have been spinning round my head like a kid at the fairground who's over used the teacups and ends the day tired, dizzy and disorientated.

I'm snuggling Skittle on the sofa this evening, thankful that he's here and that he's mine, just wishing I'd seen him sooner. Seen him the second he arrived, just like my friend did. Four times over.